All Things Bright and Gingerful

Ginger Baby with Caption

What a red hot start to the year it’s been for us Gingers. Gingerama, Gingermania, Gingivitis…okay scratch that last one with baited (bad) breath, but 2013 is definitely looking rosy for the redhead. Despite all the ridicule and ginger pube gags, those damn flame-haireds are set to soar high in the next 12 months.

Bringing some brightness to the winter blues, whilst evening up the slightly savage annual Kick a Ginger Day, 12 January saw Kiss a Ginger Day, giving licence for all those blondie, brunettey folk to pucker up and plant one on the carrot topped-freckly-blue eyed-wonder-with-the-nicely-framed-snooker-player-tan. The one day a year perhaps when a russet fetish avoids being given something of a slagging. To another end, two Gingers can get down on it minus the you can only pull each other type flannel that’s regularly flung at a cracking pair of coppernuts.

On reflection, 2012 was the year of the Gingerman; read Greg Rutherford, Ed (how to so milk an album) Sheeran, throwing in Tim Minchin for good measure while we’re at it. But the Titian of the Year Gong must go to the handsome, up-top-copper-aglow that is Damien Lewis. You know Gingers have reached something of a summit when the face of America’s top TV drama walks out the theatre with an Emmy under his flaming oxter; his Gangnam Style celebration giving a new spin to the notion of a pale rider. Without activating the spoiler alert, the orange brick road is clear in 2013 for the women to take on what’s fast becoming the highly regarded rouge baton. Step forward Jessica Chastain, Amy Adams, and a Brave sequel – cherry topped with a Rula Lenska revival perhaps.

Ginger Heart with Caption

In among all this Ginger back patting, there’s this oddity doing the rounds; Oddbins are offering a 10% discount on wine purchases every weekend in January for mums, journalists and bankers, Germans and, you’ve guessed it, Gingeroonies respectively. The only thirst revelling in this am sure is that of Rebekah Brooks, ready for going through the door with her fake Fatherland passport in hand. Crazy thing is, you just can’t decide whether it’s a lovely (if a little too smooth) marketing ploy rewarding those ‘apparently less loved’ than the rest of the population, or just pure downright prejudice on so many fronts. Are they trying to suggest that all Gingers are winos? That’s pure discrimination so it is. For a start, not everyone likes wine. I know I don’t. I wonder where you’d stand if you went into an Oddbins store with a See You Jimmy hat and wig on? Just how Ginger does a Ginger have to be? Would a strawberry blonde only get a 5% discount? Heavens to Betsy that the cuffs and collars would have to come out to prove it. Temper, temper you may say, but am going to write a letter to the head honcho of Oddbin’s. . .firmly asking that he discounts Southern Comfort next time.

“If you’ve dated a redhead raise your glass, if not. . . raise your standards.”

–  Unknown

Now everyone knows that dating sites are a minefield at the best of times, but there’s nowt better than spinning a twist on the whole malarkey. That’s why hotforginger.com, with its 30,000 single sexy signed up redheads, all looking for lurve, is living proof that it’s not all doom, gloom and frustration on the finding a mate front. . . There’s misery and despair as well. 30,000 eh? I reckon that’s the ginger popul-ation of Greater Paisley alone. Something I’m all for is Gingers procreating with other races to spread the red  around the world.  ‘Have you seen Red Singh, Ginger Ling or Carrot Panchez?’ This is the very kind of future commonplace question am talking about here.

Ginger Asian with Caption

There’s something in the water this year that suggests the Ginger will soar the stratosphere, rest on the perch of world dominance, and take it all in our stride to boot. We’ll act it out. We’ll finally turn this world from a golden globe to a copper one. On that note, I reckon the only thing that could elevate the prestige of the Ginger even more at present would be if Jodie Foster came out as one.

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